Monday, September 14, 2009

CA






Alright!

Just very compact:

Sat. the 5th : Lots of flying, but with internet =) and arriving in Santa Barbara. Linda picked me up at the small airport and took me to her appartement in Goleta "Isla Vista". A city with 20 000 students=)
But I was dead and so we just waited until 12 to say happy birhtday to linda and went to bed

Sun. the 6th : BBQ at the beach! Started out as big big big big chaos but somehow we managed it to rescue Lindas birthday and had a great great time.
Imagine a group of young people, everyone carrying something: a grill, a gas thing for the grill, food, drinks, cooler etc. we went to the beach "around the corner" which happend to be kind of far (20min walk) away. but we had out bbq on a cliff, with pefect view just on top of the beach =)
Went out in the evening in the student city "isla Vista" where Linda has an appartement. We met some friends of her room mates who were about to drive home to San Diego the next morning. After 5 minutes we were invited to go with them and stay a night there.

Mo. the 7th :

Went with Adam and his friend to SD and got a privat tour to all secret places the city has to offer! MOST BEAUTIFUL CITY IN CA!

Tue the 8th: Took the early train home to SB cause Linda had class at 6pm

Wed the 9th: Linda took me to SB downtown. It was very nice! Beautiful beach and I ate the first time at Yoghurtland!!! AWESOME FROZEN YOGHURT!!!

Thurs the 10th: spontaneos invitation from Lindas friends to go to Santa Monica and L.A. for 2 DAYS =)

Santa Monica was awesome! Venice beach was so beautiful and the streets were crazy.

Fri the 11th: L.A. was kind of ugly. Beverly Hills and the walk of fame rocked though =)

Sat. the 12th : Big road trip to San Francisco. 8 hours drive on route one. And what did we have from the damn view? Nothing because it was so damn cloudy... well, it was still nice. The search of a place to sleep was crazy, since we thought someone from couchsurfing would call us ( we wrote over 25 msges to people" and all hostels were sold out. so we had to find a cheap motel and we did eventually...

Sun. the 13th : San Francisco. Its an amazing city... if you are there, you don`t feel like in america. Its completely differend and so delicious seafood!! OMG!!

Pictures coming soon... don`t have my cable with me!!

have a nice week!





Wednesday, September 9, 2009

This must be the paradise!

Im sorry that it took me so long to write about my California trip and that there aren`t any pics online yet.
But since the weather is absolutely gorgeos, my friend Lindas appartement 5 minutes away from the beach is, her roommates so funny and I always find something to do, its kind of hard to write. Even though I have already expereinced stuff for 5 new posts!!
The pictures can`t be online before I`m coming back to NY because I forgot the USB cable there...

Well I gonna start with the arriving in NY Friday night. I had a horrible busride. In the seat infront of me where 2 girls listening to their iPods and kind of dancing with it (my knies are pressed tight towards the seat infront of me, so I can feel the slightest movement) oh well, we arrived at some point (00.30) I needed more time than others to exit teh bus, checking all my personal items... Then I saw, that one of the girls forgot her iPod. I took it in order to give it back to her. Unfortunately I saw her already walking away, but I had to get my luggage (one trolley and a sport bag). I must mention that the bus stops at New York Pennstation. Its REALLY busy and kind of dangerous.
So its me with a backback, huge trolley plus sportback and a pink iPod in my hand trying to catch up with the girls. Well at some point I lost them. Obviously people saw that I can`t find what I want. The next moment a black guy walked right next to me, asking if I need a cab. I said no I´m fine... The next thing I know is: He asking "what is this?" I looked at him and woops! the iPod of the girl wasn`t any longer in my, but his hand ^^ he wasn`t even running away. He walked a bit faster than before and just said "don`t follow me fucker" and I was like " shall I really drop all my bags, run after a black huge guy who probably has fights every day, trying to get back an iPod which doesn`t belong to me?" bad idea... Yes I got mogged in NY =)

Well I have to go on traveling now.. I hope I`ll write more soon!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

I knew this day gonna come....

I`m really sad. Even though a lot of people are already gone from my area. Even though I`m not really connected to my hostfamily. Even though there are only 3 close friends left in Virginia. Even though I`m going to California....
I feel like losing my identity, my home, my friends. Even though I know that Germany is my identity, full of friends and my real home.

Sometimes I`m getting crazy because I don`t know how to deal with the whole situation. I am terrified!! Maybe my body just don`t know how to deal with all the different sensations, which are melting together. The excitement of the trip, the sadness of leaving, the fear of the "real" life, happiness of coming home, satisfaction because of a fantastic year and the imagination to how many good people I must say good bye in the next couple of weeks. You see, there is a lot going on.

One of the few persons, who really could help in those situations, is gone or better I made her go. I hope she is not gone forever cause I really care for her. Last Saturday I ended the relationship to Taise. I knew that I would lose her support for this time with that action, but you got to be honest with yourself. Even if you know, that the right decision doesn`t lead to a win-win but a lose-lose situations.

I have no idea how to put all this. I`m extremely confused and the best thing I can imagine right now is, that someone always knocks me out, becoming my double, 5 minutes before each good bye, to do that job for me.

I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate good byes. I met wonderful people here and I`m not able to say good bye in person, only because I forgot about the time and gave unimportant things a higher priority! It feels very wrong and the worst thing about it is, that I can`t change it. I only have one and a half days left here in VA. And the list of people who deserve a personal good bye, a little bit of information why I disappeared at some point, what i did in the time of not seeing each other. People who actually deserve a farewell present.

I know that this might just a feeling for another 30 minutes and then the excitement about CA is much bigger than all those other sensations, but aren`t we humans tending to write down, rather something we don`t like, rather about feelings we don`t like, than about great things and feelings we do like?!

My stuff is packed! Tomorrow I`m taking off to New York and the next day to California!

Have a great weekend !!


Ps: I made a big step and shaved my head.... I mean I`m losing my hair anyway, so why don`t take a look at what is about to ocme?! :D

Thursday, August 27, 2009

AAAAAAAH

Sorry sorry sorry.... Yes, I should post more and keep you more up to date, but its hard you know ;)

I had a very nice birthday, even though I didn`t see anyone of my family. Well at least I got a birthday song through the telephone. Once in a while its a nice experience to have a calm birthday.

I had a small BBQ with my friends at my home, since my hostfamily is gone since thursday for 2 weeks - YES I HAVE VACATION!!!- and then we went out in DC.

My singing teacher Philip Cave just had the great idea to give me Schumann's Liederkreis Opus 24 to sing and its absolutely beautiful. I can`t stop listening to it. So thats why I´m kind of busy too;) I had 4 lessons with him so far and on Saturday I gonna have my last one I think =( and it was really worth it!!!

You maybe wonder what I`m doing in my vacation, right?! Well since all my friends have either no money or no time, nobody could accompany to anywhere and I`m not someone who likes traveling alone, I called my best JOYCE in New York if we can hang out. She: " well you would have to work at teh school with me=)" YAY!!!

So since thursday I`m helping out in the au pair school and its a lot of fun, but also hard work sometimes. The team is absolutely fantastic and so much fun!!

Oh and I decided to change my future plans. Instead of becoming a teacher/singer something I`ll start becoming a satutary. Why? Because then I don`t have to pay anyone to make a monument for my amazing GODMOTHER!! THANK YOU THANK YOU

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Update....

I didn`t write during the last week, because I was afraid of sounding too frustrated and too much in need of sympatie...

My mood Changing from July 1. until August 12. ( 1 Worst 10 best )

July 1 - 5 : Mood 9 (Miami)
July 6 - 12: Mood 2 (Taise Went home the 8th)
13 - 15 : Mood 5 (Get going with the life)
16: Mood 4 : Charging Cable of Macbook melted down (80$)
17-22: Mood 5
23: Mood 7 (Present from my Uncle)
24-25: Mood 7 (New York)
26: Mood 3 (Iphone died)
28: Mood 7 (Present from my Godmother (money for a new iPhone --> You are the BEST!)
29 - 31 Mood 5 (nothing special)
August 1st: Mood 7 (Paul McCartney Concert)
3-6 : Mood 6 (searching for a new iPhone)
7. : Mood 7 (bought a new iPhone)
8-9: Mood 8 (looking forward to get a new iPhone, Joyce visit in Annapolis, Soccer game DC United vs. Real Madrid)
10: Mood : 7 (iPhone didn`t arrive)
11: Mood 3 (found out iPhone will never arrive)
12: Mood: 3- (can`t find winterjacket)

In the meanwhile my iPhone woke up again, but fall asleep again 2 days later... It seems like that I gonna buy a new one =) But this time not with strange payment methods. Cash or nothing else! Face to face...

Today is my last working day WEHOO then 2 weeks off, 2 more last days and then CALIFORNIA!!!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Come Back ?!

Not really...

My dear Family and friends. This is so unbelievable embarrassing that I thought about never telling this story and just live with the loss.

It's one of those things you always smile about when you read them somewhere and you think "Oh my god, how can you seriously be so silly and stupid?!"

I guess I will never ever do that again....

Yes you got it, I will never receive the iPhone I bought proudly on Friday, bragging with it.

I found the seller - of course - in the internet. He had a great looking website, with a lot of information, how long he is selling them, reviews, how the payment works, how secure it is and so on.
I contacted him via e-mail and then I gave him my cellphone number. He called me and he asked me for my address, chatted a little with me why my name is spelled without an "e" at the end. He made me feel extremely comfortable.
Then he explained me again how the payment is working. Its called moneypak

Moneypak is like a prepaid card. You can buy it in a lot of stores like CVS or RadioShack. You basically transfer physically money into electronic money. The money is now on your card, which has a 11 digit security code on it. With that code you can access the money.
I called him again to tell him that I bought the card.

The deal was supposed to be like this: he sends me the iPhone and I should put the card into the envelope which he will send with the iPhone and send it back to him, that he can access the money.

To make sure that I have such a card he asked me for the last 7 digits of the card number. And I thought "sure where is the problem, since he doesn't have the whole code?"

Today I know that the first 4 digits are all the same on every card.
Now you can start laughing at me.

I mean now everything is clear. I feel like the most stupid person in the world.
Because: 505$ is the maximum you can put on moneypak, why the hell does he even need one damn digit of the shitty security code and why for gods sake did I really did it.

The worst thing is, that I can't do anything to get that money back. Even if I knew who that guy is and where he lives. I have no prove that he has my money. I have no evidence at ALL.


The person I feel so unbelievable sorry for, is my godmother. This iPhone was a present from her to me. I feel like a little child you can't rely on, who is not responsible enough to be allowed to have money.
Ursula, ich hoffe wirklich dass ich dich persoenlich erreiche, bevor du es hier liest. Ich kann dir gar nicht sagen, wie schrecklich peinlich mir das ist und wie leid es mir tut. Aber ich hab daraus gelernt.

Alright guys, spread the news...

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

THE COMEBACK

Hm, where shall I start here?

As you know, I already lost every hope to get my pictures back and focused more on the project "ask-all-your-friends-if-they-have-some-of-them"

I did some shopping to cheer me up though=) ---> booked my flight to California AND bought a new iPhone 3Gs

Another great thing was of course, that the Bundesliga started again on Friday! Even though Stuttgart lost the first game, it was fun to watch with Gabriel...

On Saturday we wanted to go to a shooting range and shoot with the guns of Gabriels host dad's dad. But unfortunately that didn`t happen. BUT, Joyce was in Annapolis, so we went there, drank beer with her and had a great time as usual=) She is the best!!

Before I left with Gabriel I ran a last program! - Thanks Henry! - and guess what?! I came home at around 1 am and I had my pictures back!
Great yes! BUT they are completely mixed up. Gonna take some hours to fix all that again... at least I have them back...

Sunday was great! Gabriel and I had tickets for the friendly game between D.C. United and REAL MADRID!

We saw Christiano Ronaldo, Kaka, Snejder, Xabi and so on LIVE! It was a torture though. 100 degrees (37.7 ° C)!!!!!!

Well here are some pictues of it =)


Only 7 weeks and I`m back! =( =) its hard to say. I gonna miss a lot of people here but looking forward to so much good stuff!








Wednesday, August 5, 2009

:'(

This is one of the sadest days since my baby left home....

All my pictures since February are gone! I can't find them!! I could cry actually I am crying. Not a single picture of Taise, not a single picture from Miami...
And additional to that I know that my sweetheart doesn't feel well, has the flue and we had a misunderstanding last night =( SORRY for that!

Well now I'm just hoping that this damn file recover program finds all the data. Then I only have to buy it for JUST 99$.... well I would pay 3000$ if I had to. all my memory supporters.... gone


please keep your fingers crossed!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

He is a god!

It was absolutely amazing!

Ok not 3 hours ride. I never was in such kind of a rush hour! It was simply not moving. The only thing which was moving, was the time... Well i wanted to leave at 4.30 my brazilian friends around 5 what means we left at 5.30 (the concert starting at 7.30 and the trip 1hour 30minutes in heavy traffic). I was getting in a bad mood. I was still tired from last night (Renatas birthday), I was hungry, thirsty, not feeling well and thought I won`t see anything of the show.

Fortunately the show didn`t start until 9! so we were on time eventually and saw an amazing show.
His voice is still brilliant and he is a funny guy!




The way back was a hard thing again.... Just leaving the parking lot took about 1 hour and another 30minutes waiting at the drive through at the mcdonald....

I saw a BEATLE LIVE!!!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Life is coming into a order again....

Very very slowly old habits coming back... I work out everyday, I write more letters and e-mails again, I was in New York again (cheered me amazingly up!! THX Joyce!!), I will have singing lessons again, only the daily piano practice and singing practice is still not on the level it was before... but I`m getting there.

Its mainly I think, that I can see the beauty of the world again. I can enjoy the time I`m alone again. The reason for that is, that Taise is making a lot of progress in her Au Pair plans about the Netherlands, so there is something I can look forward to.

Its kind of sad. Taise left, Nilly left, soon Sarah will leave, then Gabriella. Thats too much change right now. But why am I complaining.... I will be home soon anyway...

And I`m really looking forward to it!

I think If Taise didn`t left in this time, I`d say this is the best part of the year. You can look forward to come home and enjoy the time which is left a lot, since you know the area, you have the friends and the feeling that you have to do something, which makes you do something!

I`m wishing all the guys who gonna work at the Daxburg 2 awesome weeks! Can please someone post the sing "Ohne bitte gibt es NIX" on the wall again? I`m afraid that the progress I made the last 3 years could be destroyed by one year of not having it....


Here some pictures from the air and space museum and the trip to New York





Monday, July 27, 2009

New York....

YEAH! I was there again. And once more I didn`t see anything of Manhattan beside the Pennstation, the skyline and all the areas the bus drives to, to get out of the city.

Well it might be surprising for a lot of people. It might not be surprising for all the people who ever dealt with the Vera family.
Its absolutely awesome. Playing Rockband, Mario Card or Monopoly the whole day. Watching TV, drink some beers and eat sometimes=)

Not to forget the great conversations. I`m leaving the place always as a wiser person than I entered it.

Thank you thank you thank you JOYCE!!!

But there are also bad news ='(

Its not enough that my sweetheart left this month to Brazil and the charging cable of my little Macbook melt down, no! Last weekend I go to bed, took a last look at the clock on my iPhone and fall asleep. That was the last time I saw my iPhone working. Its dead now ='( Absolutely not my month.

Well the good thing is, that I have a reason to buy a new one=) or to put something on my birthday wishlist....

So if you want to give me the best Birthdaypresent ever, buy a new iPhone, give it to Taise and send her to my birthday to the states. I will run naked through the DC Mall for that! (well someone else would have to give me a "you get out of prison card" to my birthday then=) )

I`m getting slowly used to the normal non perfect life again.

I`m sad, that I missed the "Keltenfest" the first time in my life! Damn it!


Have a good one!

Monday, July 20, 2009

Slowly getting used to the "not perfect life" again

Its still not the easiest thing to get out of the bed in the morning. I can`t find a motivation for that. It still seems like a day without Taise isn`t really worth it to be lived out of the bed... And the only thing I want to do is lying in my bed the whole day, staying online and hope that she wakes up at some point and comes online too.
But of course I can`t do it because of work...

I was trying to remember what kept my life going how I motivated myself in the morning to get up and what I did in my free time, before I met Taise.
It was music and sport what I was doing. The motivation was, to become better in everything before going back to Germany.
But there are so many different things which are affecting my daily rhythm in a negative way, that its very hard to stick to some kind of schedule like I did before.

And well, its even harder to enjoy your life if you have to take 5 steps back. I think the best description is probably if you ate fat-free food your whole life and then get real food for 2 months. You don`t want to eat the fatfree stuff ever again...

The most annoying thing right now is, that everybody wants to know what the future will bring for me and Taise. Will we break up tomorrow or rather in 2weeks or when do you learn portuguese and marry her... Guys, nobody knows whats going to happen. I would make my money with it if I could predict the future.
So why don`t you do it like me. Lean back, hope for the best and see what kind of surprise life will bring.

The weekend was ok (so that means 2 and a half months ago it would have been a really really good weekend). I was in Anapolis with Renata and Gabriela and we had a lot of fun=) Did you know that Anapolis had been the Capitol of the US for about 9 Months in 1783? Kind of ridiculous or not?

AAAAnd I had a great date with my old old friends from Bethesda! YES, I drank some beers with Emy (ok, Washington...) Kris, her brother and Tati! We had a really good time or at least I had =)

This week Joyce will finally come home! I can`t wait to meet her and getting a bit comforted by her, even though the toughest time is over. Taises sting sticks very deep in my heart, so I deserve it =)

At the end I just want to add, that I miss you Sweety! Amo vc, bj!


have a good week everyone





Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The week after

Well my dear friends. Thanks for all the e-mails, comments and little messages to cheer me up. I`m better now. I`m still very very very confused, but can concentrate on the stuff I love to do and I finally have the motivation to the things which distract me from all that chaos of feelings in my head.
Yesterday it was still kind of hard to start anything, thats why I ended up laying in bed 80% of the day and watched the last 7 episodes of family guy - which sucked big time!!! - I ate a lot of crap (poptarts, oreos and bagel for lunch *healthy wohoo* ) and finally, at 7.30 I got my ass up and went to one of the beautiful outdoor basketball courts and played basketball for the first time since several weeks.

Et voila, this morning I woke up with a lot of sore muscles, but with more confidents that this day gonna be a good one.

Very helpful is also, that Taise finally arrived at home, after being lucky in a very u peanutbutter nlucky bus-crash, and we can skype with each other. Very slowly the wonderful memories are defeating all the miserable feelings which are in my head.

The biggest problem is, to come back to the real life. Not every day is a perfect day. I have to get used to this again and its not easy. If you had only perfect days for almost 2 months, the good days seem like bad days.

It feels like that I have to clean up after a big big big big big party in the YOUZ. I didn`t care about anything the last 6days. My room is a mess, I have to wash the car, start over with all the music, do daily sport again, I must write tons of e-mails, call so many people. I forgot the birthday of my favorite cousin. OH BOY!

At the weekend I had a great concert with the Elithabethens in the National Cathedral in Georgetown. I never sang in such a huge cathedral. The combination of the choral sound and the gorgeos environment of the cathedral was quite touching!

Here some more pics from the great great time =)





Thursday, July 9, 2009

Now she`s gone....

Yesterday my love took her flight home....

How I deal with it? Well I imagined it worse than it was or is. What I definitely know, is that the 3 days before had been much worse. I never felt such fear, pain and misery.

Now the world seems to be empty. I can`t describe how I`m feeling right now.

My stomach feels like filled up with stones. Its sealed... I can not eat. I`m not hungry. If I`m eating I`m feeling bad.
In one second I can dream about our future, I can see how we meet again in Europe I can see so many things, but in the next moment all the dreams get destroyed by one word. Reality.
But how unreal isit? How possible?
Isn`t it worth it to hope? Especially since she is about to work for a year in the netherlands? Globalization is getting bigger and bigger.

Right now this is the only thing which brings me through the day.


Hope you are all doing fine.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Closer, closer, closer



Hello my dear friends and family!

I had an amazing time in Miami! Its absolutely beautiful there, even though the weather is too hot for me.
I think its the first time in my life, that I didn`t get sunburned while being at the beach! And we`ve been to the beach a lot. We just had a 5 minute walk from our hostel.

Well, there isn`t much to say what happened and what we did. Beach, hostel, beach, hostel, food, beach, hostel,food, bar beach, hostel, food, beach hostel, beach, pathetic fireworks because of the independence day, hostel, beach, hostel, airport home.

Today is a strange day. I had a bad morning. Not enough sleep, got lost on the way i had to go, but made it in time, got home, had to drive to the airport (NICE =) ) so on the way back, I could stop by Taises hostfam to say thank you for the airport driving. The kids gave me a lot of energy. I came home and then I was stupid enough to start thinking.

Guys, trust me. If you know, that in the next few days something bad is going to happen DON'T START THINKING! You gonna fall down, very very very deep in a big hole and you have to fill the hole up with tears until you can climb out of it.
Its not a lot of fun....

Anyway, now I`m good again and I`m looking forward to see my Baby tonight.

And now I'll give you an idea, how Miami is like...





Monday, June 29, 2009

I can`t pretend anymore...




Last weekend I realized, that I can`t pretend any longer the fact that Taise is going home soon. Too soon. It`s very sad and everyone who ever lost its love maybe remembers how bad it feels (actually you don`t. Would be a horrible thing if you really could remember bad feelings like that).
Something a lot of you guys never discovered is probably the pre-suffering. Its like this: its December the 12th and you are so looking forward to christmas, just everything you do feels great because of that. I`m experiencing the opposite.
Some of you might say, I should be used to that feeling by now, since all my lovestories had been like that. But it`s never easy. Its never the same. This time its even harder than the other times before, cause it wasn`t just for one or 2weeks, but for almost 2months.

Its killing how many pictures of awesome memories can pop up in your mind at the same time. At least its good to know that this memories will never vanish.

Unfortunately I`m too spoiled with unbelievable weekends, thats why a good weekend like the last one feels like a really bad one. but it was really nice.

Taises Hostfamily had a farewell dinner and Taise was allowed to bring some friends. Before going there, we were at the pool to get some tan. Then we got there and it was great. A really nice family with so cute children.!



Those are 2 of 4. I don#t have pics of the others but I played a lot with them. There are not many bether things than playing with children in that age for a little bit. Because they really appreciate it and you can feel their happiness.

Also the hostparents were really nice. It was kind of sad, that I could see in Taises eyes how much she will miss all those people.

On sunday we watched the soccer game USA-Brazil and afterwards we celebrated (the brazilians celebrated) their victory against the US at a big BBQ. They served real brazilian stuff and it was really delicious!

Now its only 3 more days and then I´ll be in Miami for 4 days! YEAH

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

WORK

Oh my god,
Now I'm discovering the other life you can have as an au pair... The life of 10 hours of work a day.

No time for piano practice, no time for singing, no time for workout, only the unbelievable pleasing job to take care of teenagers...

But life is still anything else but bad! Taise is staying since monday at my place and is cheering me up during work!

We had a absolutely amazing weekend at Virginia Beach. 70% high was the possibility of rain, but not a single drop came from the sky. We had great weather, the ground was too hard, the driving too long, but the weekend AWESOME!

Here comes the sad part : in exactly 14 days I gonna lose my girl ='( well well thats life. There's nothing more to say about it. BUT " we're singing no worrying, about a thing.... cause every little thing ..... is gonna be alright" oh how I wish it would be as easy as writing it....

ENJOY YOUR SOMMER !!













Tuesday, June 16, 2009

My hair....

A lot of people maybe wonder: "how much hair will be left when he is coming back?!"

Here, thats the status right now....


And another week is over...

It`s unbelievable how fast it goes now. I don`t really like it. Or do I? Well the only reason for the fastness is, that life is wonderful right now...
Ok, the kids coming home earlier now (at 12 =/ ) and next week I`ll have them the whole time... well well. The work doesn`t bother me, since I don`t have to drive anymore 30 minutes to see my lovely girl. But I also realize more and more that i can`t say anymore "she will leave in 1 and a half month" or "5 weeks" its more like counting days now ='(
But it doesn`t help to pre-suffer.

What did I do the whole week? We had a great time last week at the Georgetown Waterfront and in the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History and this Weekend I was with Taise at the pool in Ashburn, We wanted to go out on Friday night, but our lovely friend Gabriela lost her carkeys - which I found later on of course... -, so we ended up doing nothing on friday night.

Saturday the hostfamily of Gabriela threw a big party - we don`t know why =) - and we were invited. Spicy seafood... Way too spicy....


Here some pictures