Life is coming into a order again....

Very very slowly old habits coming back... I work out everyday, I write more letters and e-mails again, I was in New York again (cheered me amazingly up!! THX Joyce!!), I will have singing lessons again, only the daily piano practice and singing practice is still not on the level it was before... but I`m getting there.

Its mainly I think, that I can see the beauty of the world again. I can enjoy the time I`m alone again. The reason for that is, that Taise is making a lot of progress in her Au Pair plans about the Netherlands, so there is something I can look forward to.

Its kind of sad. Taise left, Nilly left, soon Sarah will leave, then Gabriella. Thats too much change right now. But why am I complaining.... I will be home soon anyway...

And I`m really looking forward to it!

I think If Taise didn`t left in this time, I`d say this is the best part of the year. You can look forward to come home and enjoy the time which is left a lot, since you know the area, you have the friends and the feeling that you have to do something, which makes you do something!

I`m wishing all the guys who gonna work at the Daxburg 2 awesome weeks! Can please someone post the sing "Ohne bitte gibt es NIX" on the wall again? I`m afraid that the progress I made the last 3 years could be destroyed by one year of not having it....


Here some pictures from the air and space museum and the trip to New York

New York....

YEAH! I was there again. And once more I didn`t see anything of Manhattan beside the Pennstation, the skyline and all the areas the bus drives to, to get out of the city.

Well it might be surprising for a lot of people. It might not be surprising for all the people who ever dealt with the Vera family.
Its absolutely awesome. Playing Rockband, Mario Card or Monopoly the whole day. Watching TV, drink some beers and eat sometimes=)

Not to forget the great conversations. I`m leaving the place always as a wiser person than I entered it.

Thank you thank you thank you JOYCE!!!

But there are also bad news ='(

Its not enough that my sweetheart left this month to Brazil and the charging cable of my little Macbook melt down, no! Last weekend I go to bed, took a last look at the clock on my iPhone and fall asleep. That was the last time I saw my iPhone working. Its dead now ='( Absolutely not my month.

Well the good thing is, that I have a reason to buy a new one=) or to put something on my birthday wishlist....

So if you want to give me the best Birthdaypresent ever, buy a new iPhone, give it to Taise and send her to my birthday to the states. I will run naked through the DC Mall for that! (well someone else would have to give me a "you get out of prison card" to my birthday then=) )

I`m getting slowly used to the normal non perfect life again.

I`m sad, that I missed the "Keltenfest" the first time in my life! Damn it!


Have a good one!

Slowly getting used to the "not perfect life" again

Its still not the easiest thing to get out of the bed in the morning. I can`t find a motivation for that. It still seems like a day without Taise isn`t really worth it to be lived out of the bed... And the only thing I want to do is lying in my bed the whole day, staying online and hope that she wakes up at some point and comes online too.
But of course I can`t do it because of work...

I was trying to remember what kept my life going how I motivated myself in the morning to get up and what I did in my free time, before I met Taise.
It was music and sport what I was doing. The motivation was, to become better in everything before going back to Germany.
But there are so many different things which are affecting my daily rhythm in a negative way, that its very hard to stick to some kind of schedule like I did before.

And well, its even harder to enjoy your life if you have to take 5 steps back. I think the best description is probably if you ate fat-free food your whole life and then get real food for 2 months. You don`t want to eat the fatfree stuff ever again...

The most annoying thing right now is, that everybody wants to know what the future will bring for me and Taise. Will we break up tomorrow or rather in 2weeks or when do you learn portuguese and marry her... Guys, nobody knows whats going to happen. I would make my money with it if I could predict the future.
So why don`t you do it like me. Lean back, hope for the best and see what kind of surprise life will bring.

The weekend was ok (so that means 2 and a half months ago it would have been a really really good weekend). I was in Anapolis with Renata and Gabriela and we had a lot of fun=) Did you know that Anapolis had been the Capitol of the US for about 9 Months in 1783? Kind of ridiculous or not?

AAAAnd I had a great date with my old old friends from Bethesda! YES, I drank some beers with Emy (ok, Washington...) Kris, her brother and Tati! We had a really good time or at least I had =)

This week Joyce will finally come home! I can`t wait to meet her and getting a bit comforted by her, even though the toughest time is over. Taises sting sticks very deep in my heart, so I deserve it =)

At the end I just want to add, that I miss you Sweety! Amo vc, bj!


have a good week everyone

The week after

Well my dear friends. Thanks for all the e-mails, comments and little messages to cheer me up. I`m better now. I`m still very very very confused, but can concentrate on the stuff I love to do and I finally have the motivation to the things which distract me from all that chaos of feelings in my head.
Yesterday it was still kind of hard to start anything, thats why I ended up laying in bed 80% of the day and watched the last 7 episodes of family guy - which sucked big time!!! - I ate a lot of crap (poptarts, oreos and bagel for lunch *healthy wohoo* ) and finally, at 7.30 I got my ass up and went to one of the beautiful outdoor basketball courts and played basketball for the first time since several weeks.

Et voila, this morning I woke up with a lot of sore muscles, but with more confidents that this day gonna be a good one.

Very helpful is also, that Taise finally arrived at home, after being lucky in a very u peanutbutter nlucky bus-crash, and we can skype with each other. Very slowly the wonderful memories are defeating all the miserable feelings which are in my head.

The biggest problem is, to come back to the real life. Not every day is a perfect day. I have to get used to this again and its not easy. If you had only perfect days for almost 2 months, the good days seem like bad days.

It feels like that I have to clean up after a big big big big big party in the YOUZ. I didn`t care about anything the last 6days. My room is a mess, I have to wash the car, start over with all the music, do daily sport again, I must write tons of e-mails, call so many people. I forgot the birthday of my favorite cousin. OH BOY!

At the weekend I had a great concert with the Elithabethens in the National Cathedral in Georgetown. I never sang in such a huge cathedral. The combination of the choral sound and the gorgeos environment of the cathedral was quite touching!

Here some more pics from the great great time =)

Now she`s gone....

Yesterday my love took her flight home....

How I deal with it? Well I imagined it worse than it was or is. What I definitely know, is that the 3 days before had been much worse. I never felt such fear, pain and misery.

Now the world seems to be empty. I can`t describe how I`m feeling right now.

My stomach feels like filled up with stones. Its sealed... I can not eat. I`m not hungry. If I`m eating I`m feeling bad.
In one second I can dream about our future, I can see how we meet again in Europe I can see so many things, but in the next moment all the dreams get destroyed by one word. Reality.
But how unreal isit? How possible?
Isn`t it worth it to hope? Especially since she is about to work for a year in the netherlands? Globalization is getting bigger and bigger.

Right now this is the only thing which brings me through the day.


Hope you are all doing fine.

Closer, closer, closer

Hello my dear friends and family!

I had an amazing time in Miami! Its absolutely beautiful there, even though the weather is too hot for me.
I think its the first time in my life, that I didn`t get sunburned while being at the beach! And we`ve been to the beach a lot. We just had a 5 minute walk from our hostel.

Well, there isn`t much to say what happened and what we did. Beach, hostel, beach, hostel, food, beach, hostel,food, bar beach, hostel, food, beach hostel, beach, pathetic fireworks because of the independence day, hostel, beach, hostel, airport home.

Today is a strange day. I had a bad morning. Not enough sleep, got lost on the way i had to go, but made it in time, got home, had to drive to the airport (NICE =) ) so on the way back, I could stop by Taises hostfam to say thank you for the airport driving. The kids gave me a lot of energy. I came home and then I was stupid enough to start thinking.

Guys, trust me. If you know, that in the next few days something bad is going to happen DON'T START THINKING! You gonna fall down, very very very deep in a big hole and you have to fill the hole up with tears until you can climb out of it.
Its not a lot of fun....

Anyway, now I`m good again and I`m looking forward to see my Baby tonight.

And now I'll give you an idea, how Miami is like...